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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LostPirate on October 15, 2008, at 10:17:32
Have u ever told your t specific details about csa? How did u do it?
There are some things that I cannot get out of my head. I think triggered by the last session. But they are bad. They have to do with objects that were used on me. Its just building up like I have to get it out. I just dont know if I should. It bothers me constantly.
Posted by Phillipa on October 15, 2008, at 12:40:00
In reply to talking about csa *trigger*, posted by LostPirate on October 15, 2008, at 10:17:32
Well I think I'd put a trigger on subject line to warn those who might be triggered by your story. But I'd be glad to listen. Phillipa
Posted by Partlycloudy on October 15, 2008, at 12:40:41
In reply to talking about csa *trigger*, posted by LostPirate on October 15, 2008, at 10:17:32
I couldn't talk about specific details, but managed to write some stuff (I made a map of the physical layout of where the assault happened) down, and shared that with her.
That seemed to unplug the dam a bit. We've only had one session since this crap surfaced, so I don't know what's coming. My T is very careful not to push it with me - and she's also cautioned me about sharing details with others if it might cause second-hand trauma. See my thread above about that.
I think you will find your own ways of expressing what is ready to come out when it's ready to - if you feel like you're busting with untold details, then perhaps you could write some things down as a start?
pc
Posted by antigua3 on October 15, 2008, at 18:09:41
In reply to talking about csa *trigger*, posted by LostPirate on October 15, 2008, at 10:17:32
Yes I have. In great detail. My defense was to tell it in a totally non-emotional tone as if I were reciting the weather. That worked for years until my T and pdoc encouraged me to talk about it with my feelings instead of my head. So it's not so hard to distance myself anymore, but it's more helpful.
Tell your T that you have things you can't get out of your head. Maybe that will push him/her to help draw out of you what feels safe telling. Or write it down as PC suggested.
For your healing, it's important to let the secrets out, but what's crucial is that you feel safe with this person, safe enough to trust them w/your private feelings. Do you feel safe enough with your T? Because intense feelings can arise afterwards and you have to have a safe place to deal with them.
Ask anything you want of me. I'm here to help, as are so many other babblers who have unfortunately had to go through this.
antigua
Posted by LostPirate on October 15, 2008, at 19:12:50
In reply to Re: talking about csa *trigger*, posted by antigua3 on October 15, 2008, at 18:09:41
Thanks for sharing. Yes, I trust my T almost more than anything. And we have talked about some details before. She never shys away from them. I usually have the feeling that there is nothing she won't hear. I guess its just so hard to actually talk about what is on my mind. It's some of the worst memories I have and I have so much shame around one particular incident. Tough. It helps to know that others have been able to talk about this stuff...and that they (and their T) made it through ok.
Posted by DAisym on October 15, 2008, at 19:32:53
In reply to Re: talking about csa *trigger* » antigua3, posted by LostPirate on October 15, 2008, at 19:12:50
I think sharing the details is important to the healing for *most* people. One of the things that has happened for me is that by giving the details, my therapist has been able to reframe some of the shame I feel.
It sometimes helps to set the stage. I often have my memories from the ceiling - looking down at what is happening. My therapist asked a long time ago if he could sit up there with me, and now he will ask me what I'm seeing. Usually I can describe what is happening but sometimes I'm just in it and I have to tell him what I feel because I don't have words for it. This can be very hard because often I'll turn to him for the words - "tell me what it is called that he is doing!" but when he names it (rape) I fall apart. It took us a long time to be able to work together like this though - we went slow for a very long time.
I agree with what Antigua said about afterwards. Telling stuff is often followed with a tsunami - it sneaks up on you but boy is it painful.
I'm glad you trust your therapist. I'm sorry you have these awful memories.
This is the end of the thread.
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