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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 27 to 51 of 69. Go back in thread:
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 21, 2006, at 6:46:19
In reply to Re: Please rephrase » Larry Hoover, posted by gardenergirl on June 20, 2006, at 20:23:39
> I do not agree that sincerity is a feeling. I view it as a state. If it is a feeling, it's the others' feeling. The one being sincere or not. So, imo, there has not been a feeling expressed.
I may trust someone, or distrust them. It has nothing at all to do with their trustworthiness.
Lar
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 21, 2006, at 6:57:45
In reply to Oh, for the love of God, posted by gardenergirl on June 20, 2006, at 21:16:24
> I have to ask. If you two (Lar and Gabbi) were to be asked to evaluate how effective your own behaviors here are, what would you say? What are you gaining? What is it costing? Do you think its worth it?
>
> From my end, it hurts to watch.
>
> ggWhy, oh why, didn't somebody say something while I was being silent.
I can't make anybody else do something. Or not.
I really really thought long and hard about posting anything about her. I really and truly believed that I said nothing more than she herself had said. It turned out I was wrong, and I apologized, quite sincerely.
I was trying to honour her experience, as it parallelled my own. I thought it did, at least. It was a respectful thing I sought to do. However, I did it imperfectly. I would never have said anything, if it wasn't on the boards from her own keyboard. I believed that I had that, but my memory failed me.
Buddy X posts he's going on vacation. Poster Y doesn't see that, but notices Buddy X has been quiet, for a while. An inquiry is made. Person Q, recalling Buddy X's post about going on vacation, shares that public information.
That's what I thought about, when I posted what I did. I truly regret any discomfort arising therefrom. I also truly regret that somebody stood in my sacred thread, decrying the sanctity of how she met her husband.
She fired off an email to me, telling me in detail how she felt. I replied. And I waited. I gave her 24 hours to consider what was going down.
If the stink of old dirty laundry is being put in your face for a long time, without any further provocation, then the laundry is already in the public domain. I tried to obtain privacy. I was denied. And then, suddenly privacy is the sole issue.
My bad.
Lar
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 21, 2006, at 7:13:55
In reply to Re: have no, posted by Gabbi~G on June 20, 2006, at 23:24:18
> I sent her $500 last Christmas, just so she could have a different Christmas than the one that she was going to be having. Even though she was setting up a relationship with another man, thinking maybe I didn't notice?
>
> <<<Taken from your e-mail of DECEMBER 22
>
> I had written exactly what I wanted to say, and the bloody Paypal thing
> timed out on me. I'm going to try and reproduce my message.
>
> When I heard Ryan was coming, I was going to send you money. I didn't want
> you doing the poverty thing when he was going to be there.
>
> This money is late I guess, but Merry Christmas. ***And a wedding present too** (asterisks added)
> Please spend it wisely. I'm not going to be sending any more.You're condensing things. I knew, by last Christmas, yes. But, you did not tell me that you re-initiated that relationship, during a period when you were continually putting out feelers to me about my feelings for you.
I have always wanted the best for you. And I knew that wasn't me. But I had promised you, and I keep my word. It seems the only sort of feeling that you show the board about me is a stinky feeling.
I did not find out that you were seeking intimacy with another person at a time when it mattered to me. Believe me, when I figured that out, I had the clarity I needed.
Later on, I sorted it out. Before Christmas, yes. But not when we should have talked about it.
Since I got my head on straight, I have a clarity that I never had before. I'm sorry that I can be so confusing. Well, could once be so confusing.
It's complicated. I do not feel like I'm being permitted to put it in my past. I'm wanting that.
When I swear at you, it's always for the same thing you say to me. I ask you not to say it again, and guess what?
I feel like I've been under sniper attack, for a while now. But you set it up so I was just 'sposed to be a silent sandbag. That DNP thing.
Sorry. No more sandbag over here.
Lar
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 21, 2006, at 7:19:00
In reply to Re: Please rephrase that » Larry Hoover, posted by Dr. Bob on June 21, 2006, at 4:08:22
> > To me, saying you experience an absence of another's state does not reflect something that comes from within. To me, that comes from external, i.e. the other person.
> >
> > gardenergirl
>
> I agree. Larry, please give this another try:
>
> > I do not feel sincerely apologized towards.
>
> Thanks,
>
> BobI feel incredulous.
I'm really trying here. That is my feeling.
Lar
Posted by Gabbi~G on June 21, 2006, at 8:34:36
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by Larry Hoover on June 21, 2006, at 7:13:55
>> You're condensing things. I knew, by last Christmas, yes. But, you did not tell me that you re-initiated that relationship, during a period when you were continually putting out feelers to me about my feelings for you.
>
You knew I was friends with Ryan, had been for years, and we'd never had even a mild flirtation during that time.
I didn't know his feelings about me until the last week in October.
There's not a lot of time between November and Christmas, yet you knew by Christmas.
I hardly think that's holding out on you.
Especially as we were no longer a couple.Now, I suppose you are entitled to the right of response.
After that
Please DO NOT POST TO ME
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 21, 2006, at 10:41:08
In reply to Re: have no, posted by Gabbi~G on June 21, 2006, at 8:34:36
> Now, I suppose you are entitled to the right of response.
Of course I am. How could you ever believe otherwise?
> There's not a lot of time between November and Christmas, yet you knew by Christmas.
Whatever.
Lar
Posted by Larry Hoover on June 21, 2006, at 10:44:16
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by Larry Hoover on June 21, 2006, at 10:41:08
> Whatever.
Incredibly rude. Sorry.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 21, 2006, at 11:21:40
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by Larry Hoover on June 21, 2006, at 7:13:55
> you set it up so I was just 'sposed to be a silent sandbag.
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused. I'm really sorry about this, but I'm going to block you from posting for 10 weeks.
But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person. And I don't want anything bad to happen to you. In a crisis, please also get help in person. You may also wish to check out a listing compiled by a poster of helpful web pages on coping with crisis at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/psycho-babble-tips/links/Coping_with_crisis_001012507973
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
PS: I'm trying out a new system:
previous block: 6 weeks
period of time since previous block: 13 weeks
uncivil toward a particular individual or group: yes
particularly uncivil: no
different type of incivility: no
clearly didn't understand PBC and made effort to reply: no
provoked: yes
uncivil in multiple posts at same time: no
already archived: noIf we take 13 weeks, divide by 10, and round down, that's a reduction of 1 week. If we apply that to your previous block, that's 6 - 1 = 5 weeks. And if we double that, that's 10 weeks.
Posted by alesta on June 21, 2006, at 14:05:51
In reply to Re: have no » Larry Hoover, posted by Gabbi~G on June 20, 2006, at 23:13:23
> Why can't you concentrate on your own good fortune and leave me be.
gee, i think that's what he was doing until you interrupted his thread like you did. you are absolutely out of line to do what you did. and over nothing. leave him alone. and his fiance, which would be myself. you continually try to upset larry, obviously. you are hurting him, and me. i haven't checked to see if you received a pbc yet, but if you haven't, it is a real shame. you continually goad (sp?) larry...are you surprised that he finally exploded? please, just move on.
i've said my peace. say what you will. i hope larry and I can be strong and wise enough to avoid responding to any further toxic nonsense.
amy
Posted by wildcardII on June 21, 2006, at 14:16:57
In reply to Re: blocked for 10 weeks » Larry Hoover, posted by Dr. Bob on June 21, 2006, at 11:21:40
~that's a bit harsh Mr.Bob....i just don't get it
Posted by Dinah on June 21, 2006, at 14:18:26
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by alesta on June 21, 2006, at 14:05:51
> you continually goad (sp?) larry...are you surprised that he finally exploded? please, just move on.
I understand that you're upset, but please be sensitive to the feelings of other posters even if yours are hurt.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
Dinah, acting as deputy for Dr. Bob
Posted by Dinah on June 21, 2006, at 14:21:34
In reply to what??? 10 wks » Dr. Bob, posted by wildcardII on June 21, 2006, at 14:16:57
Please post followups to administrative matters to the Admin board.
Here's a link.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20060525/msgs/659757.html
Posted by Dinah on June 21, 2006, at 14:22:32
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by alesta on June 21, 2006, at 14:05:51
Lar is a lucky man as well.
Best wishes to both of you.
Dinah
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 21, 2006, at 15:12:12
In reply to Re: have no, posted by Gabbi~G on June 20, 2006, at 23:24:18
> Taken from your e-mail of DECEMBER 22
Please don't disclose without permission communications from another poster. I'm really sorry about this, but I'm going to block you from posting for a week.
But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person. And I don't want anything bad to happen to you. In a crisis, please also get help in person. You may also wish to check out a listing compiled by a poster of helpful web pages on coping with crisis at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/psycho-babble-tips/links/Coping_with_crisis_001012507973
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
PS: I'm trying out a new system:
previous block: 1 week
period of time since previous block: 69 weeks
uncivil toward a particular individual or group: yes
particularly uncivil: no
different type of incivility: no
clearly didn't understand PBC and made effort to reply: no
provoked: yes
uncivil in multiple posts at same time: no
already archived: noIf we take 69 weeks, divide by 10, and round down, that's a reduction of 6 weeks. If we apply that to your previous block, that takes you back to 0. And if we start from there, that's 1 week.
Posted by Tamar on June 21, 2006, at 15:51:47
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by alesta on June 21, 2006, at 14:05:51
Wow! I didn't realise Larry's fiance was you! That's great news. I'm so pleased for both of you.
Tamar
Posted by Poet on June 21, 2006, at 16:16:37
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by alesta on June 21, 2006, at 14:05:51
Hi Amy
<<i hope larry and I can be strong and wise enough to avoid responding to any further toxic nonsense.
I know you will be strong and wise enough. I got to meet Larry in Toronto and thought he was a pretty nice guy.
I wish you and Larry nothing, but the best.
Poet
Posted by Phillipa on June 21, 2006, at 17:13:27
In reply to Congratulations! » alesta, posted by Tamar on June 21, 2006, at 15:51:47
To both of you you are very special people and deserve nothing but the best!!!!!!!!Love Jan real name this time.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 21, 2006, at 18:34:03
In reply to Re: Oh, for the love of God » gardenergirl, posted by Larry Hoover on June 21, 2006, at 6:57:45
I'm disappointed that you didn't answer my questions, Larry. Although admittedly, what I'm asking is personal, so you certainly do not have to.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on June 21, 2006, at 18:38:25
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by alesta on June 21, 2006, at 14:05:51
i hope larry and I can be strong and wise enough ...
I hope so too.
gg
Posted by Declan on June 21, 2006, at 19:40:56
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by alesta on June 21, 2006, at 14:05:51
Congratulations Amy, all the best.....I only just worked it out.
Declan
Posted by llrrrpp on June 21, 2006, at 20:37:46
In reply to Re: have no » alesta, posted by Declan on June 21, 2006, at 19:40:56
Congratulations Amy,
I'm so happy for you both. Really, from the bottom of my heart. I'm just sad that you two can't be together on this post. I hope Larry's lurking still.A virtual champagne toast, from llrrrpp to Amy and Larry:
Pop!
fizzz!
clink!:)
-ll
Posted by verne on June 21, 2006, at 23:09:59
In reply to Re: Congratulations!, posted by Phillipa on June 21, 2006, at 17:13:27
Here's hoping that a babble block turns into a real-life blessing.
best wishes to both of you,
verne
Posted by ClearSkies on June 21, 2006, at 23:20:36
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by alesta on June 21, 2006, at 14:05:51
Congratulations, Amy. I'm so happy for you and Lar!
CS
Posted by Sobriquet Style on June 22, 2006, at 7:37:25
In reply to Re: blocked for week » Gabbi~G, posted by Dr. Bob on June 21, 2006, at 15:12:12
> Taken from your e-mail of DECEMBER 22
>Please don't disclose without permission communications from another poster.
I'm glad thats not promoted on this site. A similar thing happened to me once and I found it repugnant to the point of nausea.
That was my little experience though and obviously not related to this subject, but enough to remind me of the incident.
~
Posted by LindaRG on June 22, 2006, at 22:52:34
In reply to Re: blocked for week, posted by Sobriquet Style on June 22, 2006, at 7:37:25
Be Careful
I dated Larry, I asked him about Gabbi, he told me they weren't together, but not to tell her about us. A month later he visited her.
I also asked about another poster who claimed to be seeing him. He told me it was all in her head. It wasn't.Unfortunately I also asked about you, he said that you had alters and were prone to delusion.
Also he said you were a flake.You've been through a lot with men. I hope you know what you are doing.
I don't care about the reaction to this.
Anyone who wants to see how Larry really is can just check the archives at some of the sites he posts on.He knows the truth. He's been reminded several times.
And the best to you Gabbi, for not holding what happened against me.
I know that it's difficult to be true to oneself with someone who is as popular as Lar.
It's not a nice place.
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