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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 43 to 67 of 69. Go back in thread:
Posted by Phillipa on June 21, 2006, at 17:13:27
In reply to Congratulations! » alesta, posted by Tamar on June 21, 2006, at 15:51:47
To both of you you are very special people and deserve nothing but the best!!!!!!!!Love Jan real name this time.
Posted by gardenergirl on June 21, 2006, at 18:34:03
In reply to Re: Oh, for the love of God » gardenergirl, posted by Larry Hoover on June 21, 2006, at 6:57:45
I'm disappointed that you didn't answer my questions, Larry. Although admittedly, what I'm asking is personal, so you certainly do not have to.
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on June 21, 2006, at 18:38:25
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by alesta on June 21, 2006, at 14:05:51
i hope larry and I can be strong and wise enough ...
I hope so too.
gg
Posted by Declan on June 21, 2006, at 19:40:56
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by alesta on June 21, 2006, at 14:05:51
Congratulations Amy, all the best.....I only just worked it out.
Declan
Posted by llrrrpp on June 21, 2006, at 20:37:46
In reply to Re: have no » alesta, posted by Declan on June 21, 2006, at 19:40:56
Congratulations Amy,
I'm so happy for you both. Really, from the bottom of my heart. I'm just sad that you two can't be together on this post. I hope Larry's lurking still.A virtual champagne toast, from llrrrpp to Amy and Larry:
Pop!
fizzz!
clink!:)
-ll
Posted by verne on June 21, 2006, at 23:09:59
In reply to Re: Congratulations!, posted by Phillipa on June 21, 2006, at 17:13:27
Here's hoping that a babble block turns into a real-life blessing.
best wishes to both of you,
verne
Posted by ClearSkies on June 21, 2006, at 23:20:36
In reply to Re: have no » Gabbi~G, posted by alesta on June 21, 2006, at 14:05:51
Congratulations, Amy. I'm so happy for you and Lar!
CS
Posted by Sobriquet Style on June 22, 2006, at 7:37:25
In reply to Re: blocked for week » Gabbi~G, posted by Dr. Bob on June 21, 2006, at 15:12:12
> Taken from your e-mail of DECEMBER 22
>Please don't disclose without permission communications from another poster.
I'm glad thats not promoted on this site. A similar thing happened to me once and I found it repugnant to the point of nausea.
That was my little experience though and obviously not related to this subject, but enough to remind me of the incident.
~
Posted by LindaRG on June 22, 2006, at 22:52:34
In reply to Re: blocked for week, posted by Sobriquet Style on June 22, 2006, at 7:37:25
Be Careful
I dated Larry, I asked him about Gabbi, he told me they weren't together, but not to tell her about us. A month later he visited her.
I also asked about another poster who claimed to be seeing him. He told me it was all in her head. It wasn't.Unfortunately I also asked about you, he said that you had alters and were prone to delusion.
Also he said you were a flake.You've been through a lot with men. I hope you know what you are doing.
I don't care about the reaction to this.
Anyone who wants to see how Larry really is can just check the archives at some of the sites he posts on.He knows the truth. He's been reminded several times.
And the best to you Gabbi, for not holding what happened against me.
I know that it's difficult to be true to oneself with someone who is as popular as Lar.
It's not a nice place.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 23, 2006, at 2:22:00
In reply to Alesta, posted by LindaRG on June 22, 2006, at 22:52:34
> I also asked about another poster who claimed to be seeing him. He told me it was all in her head. It wasn't.
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down. Even if you're trying to help someone else.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by alesta on June 26, 2006, at 9:49:02
In reply to Re: Congratulations!, posted by verne on June 21, 2006, at 23:09:59
sorry i took so long to get back..i have very limited internet access right now. i promise to reply to those few (and rare) babblemails as soon as i can. i wanted to thank you guys *very* much for your heartfelt wishes! lar and i are doing great!!! things were a bit tense for a few days due to these boards (you can probably see why, heh :)), but now they are awesome. what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, man. love you guys!!!
take care,:-)
amy
Posted by susan47 on August 5, 2006, at 22:00:57
In reply to Re: please be civil » LindaRG, posted by Dr. Bob on June 23, 2006, at 2:22:00
I don't know any of you personally. And I don't know the many sides of the story, and I don't care to upset anyone. But I do know my own personal experience, very very lately. Now I know that yes, I was right on track with a man I very recently dated, and I know that there are men out there who are as nice as you please, but the signs are there if you look and sometimes you don't have to be looking very hard, and if you don't see it then you have only yourself to blame. Because guys like the one I dated, really do exist. There is no excuse for anyone not to know that. Duplicity, multiple affairs, lying and cheating .. you betcha ... men (and this does NOT refer to Larry, I don't know him) can be CAN be but are NOT always, not necessarily do they ever act out on this, but men are wired baby, hardwired for sex. And if they don't have a good enough reason to turn it off, they won't. It's too much of a struggle. Listen to this, from "The Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine, M.D. - "...Men, by contrast, have two and a half times the brain space devoted to sexual drive as well as larger brain centers for action and aggression. Sexual thoughts float through a man's brain every fifty-two seconds on average...."
It takes a real Man to control himself. It does. And take his attention and put it where his commitments lie.
And that's where other people get hurt. Lonely people, men and women both. There's a looooot of lonely people out there. Yup.
I'm not meaning to upset anybody. I'm not wanting to horn in on anybody's business. It's only an opinion and it's mine and I own it.
Posted by susan47 on August 5, 2006, at 22:05:33
In reply to Re: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by susan47 on August 5, 2006, at 22:00:57
It was fascinating reading all your guys' dirty laundry by the way, but it really made me feel kind of sick. I felt like a kid who stole a whole pile of candy and ate it all at once, but more than that, it made me feel haunted. Because people can be so f*cking cruel in their opinions of each other, and how they treat each other and can be made out to make themselves so pious, and it's always the Other Guy's fault, and nobody, but no one was taking any responsibility for anything negative, and quite frankly, it was All negative. Nobody's perfect but you shouldn't be hurting each other in public. Not on purpose, like this. We all hurt somebody just by the fact that we're alive and we have self-determination and we all hurt at times, and man it can be horrible. There's enough bad vibes out there. Why are you deliberately making it worse? Why?????
Posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2006, at 4:12:07
In reply to Above not meant for DB sorry I'm triggered, posted by susan47 on August 5, 2006, at 22:05:33
> It was fascinating reading all your guys' dirty laundry by the way, but it really made me feel kind of sick. ... people can be so f*cking cruel in their opinions of each other, and how they treat each other and can be made out to make themselves so pious, and it's always the Other Guy's fault, and nobody, but no one was taking any responsibility for anything negative
Please don't post anything that could lead others (such as those who posted before) to feel accused or put down.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by susan47 on August 14, 2006, at 2:07:27
In reply to Re: please be civil » susan47, posted by Dr. Bob on August 11, 2006, at 4:12:07
Posted by Gabbi~G~ on August 17, 2006, at 23:39:50
In reply to I Apologize, I'm sorry I got carried away (nm) » Dr. Bob, posted by susan47 on August 14, 2006, at 2:07:27
I was disgusted by it myself. I thought I'd read the entire first post, and was going to leave it at the one comment, but after a couple of babblemails mentioned things I hadn't heard I looked at it again.
I tried to rise above it, I really did.
As I explained somewhere else, (I can't remember)
I just reacted, because it was a trigger. (I've never said I don't get triggered, just that it doesn't happen often)It reminded me of a fairly recent court situation, when I had laid charges against my ex. Details of my life were taken out of context, or untruths were told in order to sway people to a certain conclusion.
It was too much. I felt sick too. As for no one taking responsibility for anything negative, after 6 months of very limited contact this is suddenly brought up.. so I don't even know what I did during that period of non-communication.I know it looked bad, but me, I'm giving myself credit for not posting everything I wanted to
:{
It's relative sometimes.
Posted by susan47 on August 18, 2006, at 23:22:18
In reply to Yeah... » susan47, posted by Gabbi~G~ on August 17, 2006, at 23:39:50
I know what you mean. I do. I've been through being dragged through the dirt for someone else's agenda. It's almost unbelievable how you can be seen by others when your heart was never where they accuse it of having been. Or whatever. I know. I have an ex- who is a complete bastard, of course that doesn't mean ALL ex's are that way, but mine goes in and out with the tide, he's never changed one iota since the day I met him and everything else is an act. How do I know? Because of the way he treats me. Not his girlfriend, and not anyone he's trying to impress. But how he treats and talks about all the people in his life .. not just on his good days, but on his bad ones too, maybe even most especially on his bad days. That is how you know someone, isn't it true? Just wait. Things come out in the end, they do. The wash has to be cleaned or it'll have to be done again .. this is how people learn.. having to do the same thing over and over again until they get it right.
The sooner we get it right, the happier we'll be. Let them live in the dust.
Posted by Gabbi~G~ on August 19, 2006, at 13:11:16
In reply to Re: Yeah... » Gabbi~G~, posted by susan47 on August 18, 2006, at 23:22:18
> I know what you mean. I do. I've been through being dragged through the dirt for someone else's agenda. It's almost unbelievable how you can be seen by others when your heart was never where they accuse it of having been.
***Yeah that's it! or little teeny details left out. Like the Victorias secret items "to be viewed by another man" Uh, they were two very thick boucle sweaters, on sale yet.
My *mom* was the one who saw them..I also think it's weird how even now the "ex" is so often assumed to be the b*tch, (sometimes it's true) but hey.. how often have people we've dated and gotten to know ended up to be so very different than we thought, like in your situation. I don't think I'v ever made the assumption that the ex- boyfriend, or ex-girlfriend was automatically the enemy.
Hey, Susan
Thanks for that.
I know you didn't do it 'for me' but it still meant a lot.
Posted by susan47 on August 20, 2006, at 0:57:04
In reply to Re: Yeah... » susan47, posted by Gabbi~G~ on August 19, 2006, at 13:11:16
You're right I didn't do anything for anybody, just told how I felt about things that's all. It doesn't matter who it is. Hey, my ex-DH has a new girlfriend who took some pleasure in letting me know, subtly, tonight, that she thinks she has a better sexual relationship with him than I ever had, you know.. like that. Zoom. Bang. And I went, oh. And I responded, letting her know.. subtly, of course, that she was being inappropriate. Letting her know, beyond a doubt, with very few chosen words, that what she has now, or thinks she has, I have had also. Yes. I was there first, honey. I know Exactly how you feel right now. And yes, lovey. It will change. And no, I am Not The Enemy.
She got it.
Zoom.
Posted by Gabbi~G~ on August 23, 2006, at 18:23:07
In reply to Re: Yeah... » Gabbi~G~, posted by susan47 on August 20, 2006, at 0:57:04
, of course, that she was being inappropriate. Letting her know, beyond a doubt, with very few chosen words, that what she has now, or thinks she has, I have had also. Yes. I was there first, honey. I know Exactly how you feel right now. And yes, lovey. It will change. And no, I am Not The Enemy.
> She got it.
> Zoom.Good for you.
H*ll, sometimes they are the enemy, but shouldn't that be based on *your* experience?
I just really detest that "women gouging each others eyes out over a man crap"Or worse, when women will revile the woman a man had an affair on her with, (well maybe revile is probably natural) but actively make her life miserable, and then forgive the guy..
ewww.
I guess I choose my women friends very well, because I'd actually forgotten that stuff existed, really I did.
Posted by susan47 on September 4, 2006, at 21:16:35
In reply to Re: Yeah... » susan47, posted by Gabbi~G~ on August 23, 2006, at 18:23:07
> Good for you.
> H*ll, sometimes they are the enemy, but shouldn't that be based on *your* experience?> I just really detest that "women gouging each others eyes out over a man crap"
Well, the fact is that I've never known any man ever in my lifetime, to ever be worth anything close to a competition. They're just silly, ridiculous people unless they had a very strong role model .. and that just doesn't happen very often. The simple fact is that women are built to be tougher than men because we have the biological responsibility for our kids. Complete period end of sentence. And if a man doesn't know or understand a woman's brain from a biological perspective, he'll never be smart enough or wise enough to Be Enough. He'll bumble his way through, with or without.. and the quality of man also determines the quality of woman BTW. They fit together and when they don't, hopefully the smarter one knows enough to be honest and brave and Get Out. In my experience that usually isn't the male. They'll hang onto momma's apronstrings till the last minute and then blame it all on her in the end, try to make her feel bad about the crazinesses they drove her to.
What a load of ... you know exactly, Exactly what I mean.
And none of this is anyone's opinion but mine own. My own. Mine. It belongs to me, it's an opinion and who knows, it could change tomorrow. Tomorrow I may meet some male whose c*ck I adore, whose body totally turns me on, Baby, who smells good everywhere including his filthy little mouth, the one that someday will Never Ever say bad, untrue and unkind things about me ... Worthy of all the depth of my feeling.. a man who truly Cares about who he Is in the world, what his place is, here, and a man who knows how to take out the garbage and do the dishes and make love, Real love, to his woman, and listen to her and UNDERSTAND WHAT HE'S HEARING, WITH ALL OF US MIND for a bloody change.
Hah.>
> Or worse, when women will revile the woman a man had an affair on her with, (well maybe revile is probably natural) but actively make her life miserable, and then forgive the guy..
>
> ewww.Yes, Women can be ridiculous little vipers when they want to be. Because it suits their best interests, in the end, all that matters is that he's stronger and knows how to hunt. Damn it. And he has a penis.
>
> I guess I choose my women friends very well, because I'd actually forgotten that stuff existed, really I did.
>
I wish I could have the luxury of forgetting all of that, too.
Posted by susan47 on September 4, 2006, at 21:17:35
In reply to Re: Yeah... » susan47, posted by Gabbi~G~ on August 23, 2006, at 18:23:07
Nothing personal, only me, right now, at this point in time. Right? Good. Glad that's settled, then.
Posted by llrrrpp on September 4, 2006, at 22:49:37
In reply to Apologizing in advance to the GP, for the above, posted by susan47 on September 4, 2006, at 21:17:35
Wow Susan,
those are some strong feelings- sounds pretty tough for a man to live up to those expectations. Does that apply for all men, including men who are your coworkers, who brew your coffee, who deliver your packages, who are your boss, or your doctor, or your preacher? Or is this only for men that you are interested in getting into a romantic/sexual relationship with?I come from kind of the opposite perspective, where I always felt that I was physically weaker, intellectually weaker, and emotionally unstable-- as a possessor of the double X chromosomes. I mean, I do very well "for a woman"...
Well, it has taken me a long time, but I'm not afraid of men too much anymore. I'm afraid of some men, certainly, and some women too. What really triggers me is a man who is completely physically stronger than I am and who has a bad temper, or is not aware of his strength when his heart is hot. That's why most of my guy friends are nerdy intellectual types - because they are either not very strong, or, if they are, I can appeal to their intellect to diffuse any temper situations.
-ll
Posted by susan47 on September 5, 2006, at 23:05:56
In reply to Re: Apologizing in advance to the GP, for the abov » susan47, posted by llrrrpp on September 4, 2006, at 22:49:37
Not really, it just sounds like a woman. But with a penis. And a maleness that we don't have. It's their maleness I despise them for and it's also their maleness I love them for. Opposite sides of the same coin.. and the balance is the trick. The balance I need will be the balance I am able to give back, if the right person were ever to be met. They're not unrealistic expectations, or even very high. High would be, I want him to be rich and famous without being an *sshole.
That would be a high expectation.
Posted by susan47 on September 5, 2006, at 23:16:16
In reply to Re: Apologizing in advance to the GP, for the abov, posted by susan47 on September 5, 2006, at 23:05:56
Oh, no of course not. Not all rich and famous people are bad. How silly of me, I don't know what I was thinking, because I myself would love to be rich and famous and I don't think I'm bad. Calling rich and famous people bad would be like branding everybody who ever wants to be rich and famous, bad. I think I was thinking more of crooked politicians. But aren't most politicians "crooked", isn't that what's expected to go with the territory, nowadays? Certainly we've come a long way from the original meaning of the Constitution, when we were charged, as citizens, to fight political injustice should it show up in our leaders ....
And politicians aren't necessarily rich, it's their connections that make them rich, and we all know that isn't allowed so therefore it doesn't happen, and if it does it's just an anomaly, not a real indicator of anything ... there're politicians everywhere.
The world is full of them.
Absolutely .. full.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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